Throwing punches and chairs instead of Rice

"Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself.  Mankind.  Basically, it's made up of two separate words -- 'mank' and 'ind.'  What do these two words mean?  It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind."  -- Jack Handey

President Bush continues to shuffle his cabinet for the next four years.  Condoleezza Rice was nominated for Secretary of State today and she'll likely get Senate approval. 

She was one of Bush's more moderate advisors back in 2000, but critics claim she has since moved far right to better fit the administration.  She's the first black female in US history to hold this position.  She'll need to hit the ground running, that's for sure.

Good luck, Condee.  Don't suck.

Speaking of black people, how about The Vibe Music Awards last night in (where else) Los Angeles?  Apparently, fans were not disappointed and music had nothing to do with it.

Remember the riot that erupted during The Source Hip-Hop Music Awards in 2002?  Music lovers had to wait more than a year to enjoy another brawl at an awards show.  But last night the hip-hop community made sure that fans suffered no Red Sox-esque drought before again getting what we really wanted: thrown chairs, punches, and this time even a stabbing!

And people say lyrics mean nothing.  ;-)

Rapper/producer Dr. Dre got involved in the fray itself, which started while he was introduced to receive a Lifetime Achievement award by Snoop Dogg and Quincy Jones. 

(Add this to his list of achievements!)

Due to industry professionalism, the fight and consequent STABBING was merely a "distraction" that delayed, but did not stop, the ceremony.  Only a rap music awards show could shrug off a STABBING DURING THE EVENT so effortlessly.

Los Angeles is practically an awards show breeding stable.  Everything seems to have its own awards show these days, and most of them seem to take place in sunny LA.  Because of this fact, several facilities designed specifically to host such events exist there, including the Kodak Theater and the Shrine Auditorium.  Hotels often host such events, as well, including the Beverly Hills Hotel and the Beverly Hilton.

So where then, you ask, were The 2004 Vibe Music Awards held?  Where could security be so terrible that professional musicians and their guests could carry knives into an awards ceremony?

Where else?  At an airport.

Yes, the prestigious awards were distributed in a hangar at the Santa Monica Municipal Airport.  The irony is that Santa Monica Muni Airport was traditionally considered the safer alternative to LAX.  After last night's Vibe awards, however, it has now officially been christened by L.A. loonies.  Santa Monica, be proud: now you blend in!

“It’s really important that we don’t take a negative incident like this and do away with the awards,” Suge Knight, founder and former CEO of Death Row Records, told reporters.[ http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6499922/ ]

First, you know it's a party when Suge Knight is the diplomat.  

[ http://www.mtv.com/news/bands/knight_marion_suge_.jhtml ]

Second, was Suge joking?  After the 2002 Source Awards and now this week's Vibe Awards, fans will attend and watch these shows just to see the "negative incident[s]!"  There'd be even more riots if these rap music awards stopped the stabbings now!

But how come AOL News doesn't have a photo and headline story about the brawl on its welcome menu?  If something similar had taken place at, for example, the Country Music Awards -- you KNOW it'd be flashing in everyone's face on the AOL News menu.

So what can we, the fans of great hip hop music, learn from this incident?  That the next time you're convinced your favorite rappers, gangstas and posses won't start a big fight at their own awards show -- just be patient, have faith, and remember it it's only a matter of time before your thirst is quenched.

Congratulations to the Hip-Hop community, to Santa Monica Municipal Airport personnel, and to L.A. County.  You all made complete fools of yourselves to a national audience... together.

Now you can fight over the glory.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Music/11/16/vibeawards.fight.ap/index.html