Enough "Gaysteria" already!

Gay awareness has become "Gayploitation" over the past 5-10 years.  The mass media are enamored with anything homo- or bisexual and they force it upon society with every opportunity.  Almost no TV show or movie anymore has all-straight, or no openly gay, personalities.  Everything needs a "gay factor" in the world today.

Yet fanatic gay rights addicts -- err, activists -- are quick to point out that society is blooming with gay people who aren't repressed by cultural norms anymore, ergo, media should depict this and the world should embrace it.  If only it were that tactful.

It's 2005 and gay awareness exposure has become overkill.  This was demonstrated in November 2004, when thirteen (out of thirteen possible) states voted for constitutional amendments to define marriage as exclusively between a man and a woman.  Gay-rights radicals and Hollywood were forced to realize that the vast majority of America does NOT resemble the E! channel 24/7.

Apparently, the University of Harvard Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender & Supporters Alliance (BGLTSA) still needs an education.  Last weekend, actress Jada Pinkett Smith was honored as "Artist of the Year" at the 20th Annual Cultural Rhythms show sponsored by the Harvard Foundation for Intercultural and Race Relations (FIRR).  During her speech she said, "Women, you can have it all —a loving man, devoted husband, loving children, a fabulous career.  They say you gotta choose.  Nah, nah, nah.  We are a new generation of women.  We got to set a new standard of rules around here.  You can do whatever it is you want.  All you have to do is want it."

Shortly thereafter, the student BGLTSA demanded an apology.  The group justified its protest by labeling Pinkett Smith's remarks "heteronormative."

Here is the article from the Harvard Crimson, the university newspaper, explaining the fallout.  Conveniently, none of what Pinkett Smith actually said is quoted in the article.

Published on Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Pinkett Smith’s Remarks Debated: BGLTSA calls comments “heteronormative,” pledges to work with Foundation
By ANNA M. FRIEDMAN
Contributing Writer

After some students were offended by Jada Pinkett Smith’s comments at Saturday’s Cultural Rhythms show, the Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender, and Supporters Alliance (BGLTSA) and the Harvard Foundation for Intercultural and Race Relations have begun working together to increase sensitivity toward issues of sexuality at Harvard.  Students said that some of Pinkett Smith’s remarks concerning appropriate gender roles were specific to heterosexual relationships.

In a press release circulated yesterday by the BGLTSA—and developed in coordination with the Foundation—the BGLTSA called for an apology from the Foundation and encouraged future discussion of the issue.

According to the Foundation’s Student Advisory Committee (SAC) Co-Chair Yannis M. Paulus ’05, the two groups have already planned concrete ways to address the concerns that Pinkett Smith’s speech rose.

The BGLTSA release acknowledged that the Foundation was not responsible for Pinkett Smith’s comments. But the Foundation has pledged to “take responsibility to inform future speakers that they will be speaking to an audience diverse in race, ethnicity, religion, sexuality, gender and class,” according to the release.

Pinkett Smith was honored as the Foundation’s “Artist of the Year” at its 20th annual Cultural Rhythms show, which she also hosted.

BGLTSA Co-Chair Jordan B. Woods ’06 said that, while many BGLTSA members thought Pinkett Smith’s speech was “motivational,” some were insulted because they thought she narrowly defined the roles of men and women in relationships.

“Some of the content was extremely heteronormative, and made BGLTSA members feel uncomfortable,” he said.

Calling the comments heteronormative, according to Woods, means they implied that standard sexual relationships are only between males and females.

“Our position is that the comments weren’t homophobic, but the content was specific to male-female relationships,” Woods said.

Margaret C. D. Barusch ’06, the other BGLTSA co-chair, said the comments might have seemed insensitive in effect, if not in intent.

“I think the comments had a very strong focus for an extended period of time on how to effectively be in a relationship—a heterosexual relationship,” Barusch said. “I don’t think she meant to be offensive but I just don’t think she was that thoughtful.”

In order to discuss these concerns and ensure that such a misunderstanding doesn’t occur again, Paulus said the BGLTSA and the Foundation are planning a joint breakfast later this week as well as a general discussion forum for all of the SAC member groups.

Paulus added that the Foundation will issue a letter later this week apologizing for any offense the show might have caused and encouraging concerned students to attend the planned discussions.

According to Paulus, the letter will acknowledge that “Pinkett Smith was just giving the story of her life. She just told things from her perspective, and her perspective was a heterosexual perspective. She wasn’t trying to be offensive. But some felt she was taking a narrow view, and some people felt left out.”

Barusch said the dialogue with the Foundation has been “productive.”

“Both groups have really talked about issues of intercultural relationships and sexuality and the way that student groups can talk about these topics in sensitive ways,” she said.

Barusch also referred to a “minor controversy” that occurred earlier this year, in which some members of SAC questioned the BGLTSA’s role in the Foundation.

“They weren’t sure how the BGLTSA would fit into the Foundation...There was some conversation about the relevance of queer issues,” she said.

But Barusch emphasized that the Foundation has been very supportive of the BGLTSA’s efforts to address this weekend’s comments, stressing that the two incidents are unrelated.

“We’re not blaming the Foundation. It’s not about blame. It’s about how we all need to think more about what we’re saying,” she said.

Ofole U. “Fofie” Mgbako ’08, a performer in the Cultural Rhythms show who watched Pinkett Smith’s speech, said he thought the speech was “insightful.”

“You can never appeal to every single group,” he said. “You’ll always in some way be exclusive. I thought her message was clear. I thought it was sincere.”

—Liz C. Goodwin contributed to the reporting of this story.

 I wrote an e-mail letter to Harvard's FIRR Student Advisory Committee Co-Chair Yannis M. Paulus early Friday morning.

Yannis Paulus,

Hello.  My name is Ryan and I live in Cleveland, Ohio.  I've read about the quasi-controversy regarding Jada Pinkett-Smith's comments last weekend and the Harvard BGLTSA.

Sadly, I also read that your organization planned to issue a formal apology this week.  While I understand the business aspect of that decision, I truly hope that neither you nor your organization personally believes it's necessary.

I have numerous gay and lesbian friends.  I will not speak for them, but I'm darn-near certain that even most of them would find the BGLTSA's reaction to Mrs. Pinkett Smith's speech absurd. 

I am not homophobic, but I'm proud to be "heteronormative."  And thanks to Harvard and the BGLTSA for informing me that a word exists for the state of believing heterosexuality is normal and natural.

I may send a similar letter to the BGLTSA, but I doubt it would garner much attention or be taken seriously.  But I hope that someone on campus has enough gumption and common sense to tell the BGLTSA that if they truly want to be treated the same as "everybody else," then they better learn to respect those different from themselves.  Isn't that the purpose of their cause anyway?

"Heteronormative?"

I'll spare you a sermon, but the majority of the world is heterosexual!  While the BGLTSA may find it perfectly normal to be homosexual, it's even MORE normal to be heterosexual.  I'm not criticizing its members for being gay -- I'm criticizing them for having a double standard.

And NOT YOU, nor the Foundation for Intercultural and Race Relations, nor Jada Pinkett Smith, nor anyone else -- should have to apologize for the BGLTSA's narrow-minded sensitivities and obvious double standards.

In closing, a friend of mine's father is a prominent Harvard alum.  Many in her extended family are Harvard alumni.  The word was passed along to me that at least one of those alumni is embarrassed by this; not that it became a national news story, but that it happened at all.

And they, like so many others (myself included), would be embarrassed for you if you genuinely believe the Harvard BGLTSA deserved their formal apology.

I hope they're paying for your breakfast on Friday.  It's the least they can do.

Thank you for your time.

Being openly homo- or bisexual is no longer "courageous" or "inspirational" because it's already old hat.  It has become a fad.  It's not only accepted, but encouraged by pop culture.  Just turn on the TV -- everybody's doing it!

Even AOL is doing all it can to appease gay-rights advocacy.  An entire chat room category is dedicated to gays and lesbians, who create such creative rooms ranging from (as of 9 PM ET, 3/6/05) "i did a relative" and "y f4f   sex with dog" -- to the more popular "bi mom f4f" and "xtra yung f4f."

AOL even has a news service exclusively catered to gay users, which polls members weekly with such hot-button questions like "Preferred animated 'gay icon': Superman [who was married*], Spongebob Squarepants [who Democrats vehemently deny even implicitly represents gay lifestyle], or Wonder Woman?"*   (Wonder Woman had the lead with 41% of the vote when I checked.)

[* = Thanks to user Unreal Fiction for initial information.]

So with modern culture bending over backwards (no double entendre intended) to appease gay rights advocacy, how can groups like the Harvard BGLTSA stillcomplain that society is insensitive and exclusive against alternative sexual lifestyles?

What are they waiting for, Gay Affirmative Action?

Organizations like the Harvard BGLTSA live in a vacuum.  Most people on campus likely capitulate to their every demand.  But in the real world -- outside of Harvard -- if BGLTSA members want basic respect like most people deserve, they need to realize that the world owes them nothing they don't already have.  Regarding gay rights, most Americans are already civilized enough because we already tolerate that undeniable difference from the norm.

Reproduction is the foundation of life, the cornerstone of any species.  Thus, reproduction is normative behavior.  Homosexuals cannot reproduce naturally.  Also, the vast majority of human beings are heterosexual. 

Heterosexuality is normal.  Homosexuality is abnormal.  Most Americans have grown to openly tolerate homo- and bisexuality, but no one should be forced to ACCEPT that behavior as normal or rational.  Gay people simply live alternative, unnatural lifestyles.  This isn't bigotry, it's simply a FACT.  And gay rights activists need to ACCEPT this fact because nature will never change.

I sympathize with homo- and bisexuals who live quietly and respect others' privacy (by not shoving their own into public spotlight).  Such individuals are too often -- and undeservedly -- associated with militant, radical gay rights groups who burden non-members with their sour grapes.  Gays and lesbians who don't feel that groups like the Harvard BGLTSA always speak for them have my respect.  They're the ones suffering real injustice caused by groups who claim to "fight" for them.

Members of radical groups like the Harvard BGLTSA apparently feel desperate to sexualize everything.  That becomes their identity.  They must loudly separate themselves from others not like them; point fingers; and whine whine whine about people who think and speak as if (heaven forbid!) heterosexuality is normal -- all the while pretending to stand for social unity.  Cramming one's private lifestyle in my face is no way to gain my sympathy or acceptance.

Forcing it upon unsuspecting parents and their children is also wrong.  Children do NOT need to learn sexual tolerance from an early age.  For example, cartoons aimed at toddlers and preschoolers should not raise sexuality issues by incorporating gay characters into their storylines.  The point is not to keep children from treating gay people as well as they treat heterosexuals; the point is that parents should not be forced to teach their young kids about sexuality (let alone homosexuality) at all -- and certainly not because of children's programming.

Children deserve to maintain their innocence as long as possible.  Gay rights organizations are no authority on what to teach them about society.

(And laugh now, but gay action figures and dolls cannot be too far behind.)

Joe Scarborough's bemusement on his TV show last week was appropriate.  "[The Harvard BGLTSA] want[s] an apology because, apparently, in making remarks specific to male-female relationships, Mrs. Smith was using a narrow, insensitive view of the world.  How dare she be so heteronormative."

On that note, how dare Louisiana, Missouri, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, Montana, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Utah and Ohio (including myself) for relating to Jada Pinkett Smith's heteronormative view of the world.  In 2004, each of these states voted to amend their constitutions to define marriage as between a man and a woman.

I'm not ashamed of my vote, nor am I homophobic.  There were numerous non-spiritual, non-sexual issues and concerns to consider, such as clogging already-stagnant courts with more divorce, custody and alimony cases.  I can tolerate civil unions, but I also believe in the preservation of traditional, heterosexual marriage customs.  There is nothing immoral or unethical about that position.

To some, my comments may sound like hate speech.  Such critics probably preach tolerance, but have no tolerance for anyone who disagrees with their agenda.  I'm tired of that double standard set by gay advocacy groups like the Harvard BGLTSA.

To such confederations, if a heterosexual is uncomfortable with in-your-face gay rights protest, that person must be hateful and ignorant.  But if the BGLTSA is uncomfortable with something a heterosexual says or does -- even if it's harmless and/or positive (like Pinkett Smith's comments) -- it's because that person is hateful or insensitive. 

Gay Pride parades march past elementary schools, but only intolerant, closed-minded sexists can oppose; yet if one so much as attempts a "Hetero Pride" parade anywhere, (s)he is automatically labeled a bigot.

Hypocrites!

No one is considered a bigot for preventing a brother from marrying his sister; no one is considered a bigot for preventing a human being from marrying an animal; no one is considered a bigot for preventing an adult from marrying a minor.  People should not be considered bigots or "anti-gay" simply for preserving the sanctity of traditional marriage as between a man and a woman.

Change for change's sake isn't always right or brave.  It's often reckless, destructive and wrong.  For example, if a homophobic activist wanted to protest IN a gay pride parade -- most gay-rights supporters would refuse not only because such behavior is offensive, but also because it's untraditional.  Some traditions should be preserved and marriage (as a heterosexual union) is one of them.

I generally have no personal problems with gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered persons, or their supporters.  I disagree with their lifestyle, but I don't shame them for it, and I don't consider gay people "evil."  What happens in their bedroom is their business.

But it should STAY in the bedroom, and their business should remain theirs alone.

Had there been as much ice-cream hysteria over the past five years as there's been with homo- and bisexuality, I'd be stomping my foot and grunting, "ENOUGH ABOUT ICE CREAM ALREADY!"  I'm just tired of the formulaic, overhyped "gay factor" in society today.  And so is most of America.

I am proud to be both heterosexual and heteronormative.  And if you don't like it, Harvard BGLTSA, then I demand an apology.